Putting the Hungry Ghost on a Diet

I spent most of my adult life running from boredom. When people commented on how busy I was, I often replied by saying at least I won’t be bored. I hoped that reply brought some levity to the reality of my often stuffed-full schedule, though in hindsight I see the fear embedded within it.

 

As a kid I remember being bored quite a lot. Maybe it was due to being an only child living the American Dream (huge house with a fenced yard), or maybe boredom was more a part of postwar childhoods? Either way, many of my childhood memories involved boredom. Once I became more autonomous as a young adult, the pendulum swung the other direction, and I actively eschewed boredom.

 

This active avoidance of boredom took many forms, including the accretion of all sorts of gear. As a younger adult, I had athletic equipment for every possible condition. Different skis for every imaginable snow condition, bikes for every road/trail condition, and when it was too windy to bike or ski, my windsurfing gear covered the gamut from barely windy to batten-down-the-hatches windy. Boredom wasn’t an option.

 

Paradoxically, I maintained a meditation practice throughout my adult life. I recognized the importance of meditation for wellbeing, though I’d seemingly offset the quiet, often boring, meditation time with a nearly frantic avoidance of boredom. I was a Hungry Ghost.

A Hungry Ghost

Hungry Ghost is a concept I learned from my studies of Tibetan Buddhism. They have huge bellies that represent their insatiable appetites, yet they also have tiny necks that prevent them from satisfying their wants. Considered residents of the “Hell Realms,” Hungry Ghosts demonstrate discontent at its extreme, and at essence, my avoidance of boredom was a symptom of discontent.

 

In my exploration of Attentional Holes, boredom has been a consistent companion. It’s been interesting to lean into this feeling of boredom, and to use those feelings as the object of meditation. As I mentioned in a previous posting, this newfound appreciation of boredom has supported my studies and improved my sleep. It also introduced deeper layers of contentment. My Hungry Ghost is a little less hungry, and right behind the screen of boredom is contentment. Boredom has been a portal into a very spacious, bright and pro-social place, and airing out my Attentional Holes has been the gateway to this portal.

How about you? What is your relationship to boredom?